Premature ejaculation: How to last longer in bed

If you are experiencing premature ejaculation, there are several effective methods you can try to help you last longer in bed.

Remember that what works for others may not work for you. You may have to try different options before finding which is best for you.

Try using condoms

Research shows that men with lifelong PE often experience heightened penile sensitivity. This causes them to ejaculate sooner than they would like.

Wearing a condom can reduce the sensitivity of your penis. This may help you last longer.

Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles

The pelvic floor muscles are the same ones you use to interrupt urination. By learning to tense these muscles, you can delay ejaculation. Research has shown that strengthening these muscles can be effective in improving ejaculatory control and erectile dysfunction.

You can strengthen your pelvic floor muscles by doing Kegel exercises, which involves tensing the muscle for a few seconds and then releasing them.

Try the pause and squeeze method

The pause-squeeze technique (sometimes called stop-start) involves pausing sexual activity when you feel close to ejaculating. At this point, your partner stops stimulation for 10 to 20 seconds and applies gentle pressure to the tip of your penis.

After releasing the pressure, you can restart stimulation for around 30 seconds before pausing again. You repeat this a few times before you allow yourself to ejaculate. Studies suggest that this technique can help some men delay ejaculation and feel more in control over time.

Masturbate before sex

Masturbating one to two hours before sex may reduce sensitivity due to the refractory period (the natural recovery phase after orgasm). During this time your arousal is lower, so it can be harder to reach orgasm again, which may help you last longer in bed.

The effect varies between people because the length of the refractory period is different for everyone.

Quit smoking

Smoking damages the blood vessels and nerve endings that play a key role in stimulating your penis during an erection. Quitting smoking can help improve erectile dysfunction (ED) by reducing this damage, potentially leading to stronger, longer-lasting erections.

However, it is important to note that there is no strong medical evidence that quitting smoking directly improves premature ejaculation. Research supports the idea that quitting can have positive effects on erectile function, but its impact on ejaculatory control is less clear.

Manage stress

Research has shown a correlation between anxiety and depression and the occurrence of premature ejaculation. Some strategies that may help reduce stress include:

✓ engaging in physical exercise to release tension and improve mood

✓ practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation or yoga

✓ maintaining a regular sleep schedule to improve overall wellbeing

✓ connecting with supportive friends or family to share feelings and reduce stress

If you notice any changes in your mood, discuss them with your doctor, who can help determine the best next steps.

➤ It's important to note that while relaxation techniques may help reduce stress, they may not directly lead to longer-lasting erections or delayed ejaculation.

There are several treatment options for managing premature ejaculation. Prescription tablets such as Priligy (dapoxetine) can help delay ejaculation and improve control. Topical numbing creams, such as EMLA cream, reduce sensitivity in the penis and may help you last longer during sex.

If you also have erectile dysfunction, medicines like Viagra or sildenafil can improve erections by increasing blood flow to the penis. In some men, treating ED can indirectly help with control as well.

These medicines can cause side effects such as nausea, dizziness, headache or flushing, and they are not suitable for everyone. It is important to talk to a healthcare professional about your medical history so they can help you choose a safe option and dose.

Premature ejaculation is typically diagnosed when you ejaculate more quickly than you would like. For example, before or shortly after penetration. It often leads to distress or interpersonal difficulties.

While occasional quick ejaculation can be normal, PE is considered a concern if it happens consistently and causes significant distress or frustration.

The British Society for Sexual Medicine (BSSM) classifies PE as when:

• you always or nearly always ejaculate prior to or within about one minute of penetration
• you are unable to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all penetrations
• you experience negative personal consequences such as distress, bother or frustration
• you start to avoid sexual intimacy

➤ If this description feels familiar to you, it is worth discussing it with a GP or sexual health clinic. PE is common and there are effective treatments.

The difference between premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction

It's important to understand the distinction between PE and ED. PE is characterised by the inability to delay ejaculation, often occurring shortly after penetration, which can lead to distress. ED, on the other hand, refers to difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection sufficient for sexual activity.

While these conditions are separate, they can sometimes occur together. Medications such as Viagra are commonly used to treat ED by improving blood flow to the penis. At the same time, this may help improve ejaculatory control.